The Worries of a Mother To Be [CLOSED]

Kaminari was fat and she didn't like it. She was always hungry and she didn't like it. She was always having cravings for the weirdest shit and she did not like it. And she was always moody and no one liked it. This little creature in her belly was messing things up! Kaminari didn't want to be a Mom; she had no plans on doing so, but one night just turned all of that around. Kaminari thought about her situation every single night since she found out about the baby. Her entire world was being turned inside out and she felt like she was soon going to lose everything she worked for. She felt like the world was against her; Even her own body was against her! How was this something she was supposed to be able to handle? The last three days, ever since she returned from a surprise trip to see Snopy Saika, Kaminari had been avoiding everyone. She stayed home and locked the door. She spent her days moping about and eating ice cream with impossible amounts of chocolate. Anyone who came to see her, Midori, Kazuo, Genpaku, Toja, Daigoro, and even Tsubine had been told to go away. She just didn't want to deal with anything or anyone right now and was trying to figure out how to change that.

Kaminari went to go change into a different nightgown after she spilt some ice cream on her belly. She didn't have really any maternity clothes, so most of her stuff didn't fit. She found an old over-sized nightgown that she had never worn and put that on. That was when she heard a faint voice. "Tubeeneh..." she mumbled over the chocolate-nut bar she was chewing. With her arm looped around a half-full ice cream container and a newly opened chocolate bar in her left hand, she walked out into the hall way as he appeared. She glared at him, her face puffed up from the candy in her mouth along with a couple of small bits of chocolate that she missed along her cheek. "You breaking into my home now?" she said, still chewing. She swallowed as he came over to her and hugged her. She leaned in to it, but looped her arm around his to take another bite of her candy bar. "You are different. I shot Midori in the ass with Kidō when she came in without permission. You I hugged, kinda. There, you're different."

Kaminari waddled her fatass passed him and toward the kitchen. "Now let me put this down and give you a proper hug." She put the ice cream in the freezer, the spoon still inside because she was going to get some more later and set the candy bar down on the counter back in it's wrapper. She got a napkin, wiped of her face and hands, dried them, and then sighed as she turned to Tsubine. Kaminari went over and hugged him this time, "Hey, honey. Why did you think that I'd be covered in chocolate? I'm not that messed up right now! I just need some time to get my head together. That's all!"

"I get enough of Midori calling me fat. I will not give her another reason for it." Kaminari pouted, crossing her arms. The two went over to the couch and sat down. Kaminari felt so comfortable next to him. She leaned into him as his arm came around her. "I'm not used to telling someone problems like this." Kaminari's eyes were narrowed. She looked away from him and sat up straight, sort of pulling away. "They're my problems, so telling people is weird." Kaminari explained as kindly as she could. There were things she had to get used to. Kaminari didn't know how to actually be in a relationship for one. For two, knowing that he was there to listen to her problems was odd for her. Not many just sat back and listened, most didn't care to. "What am I even supposed to say, Tsubine?"

"She's been disappearing? That's not entirely like her." Kaminari avoided her own problems by focusing on what he told her, "Have you been able to talk to her about it lately?" Kaminari got her answer and then leaned into him a again. "As for our living arrangements... I can turn the office into a bedroom. If I need an office, I can use mine back in the barracks or knock out half of that unused space in the kitchen... The far end of it is pretty much a waste." Kaminari sighed. She wouldn't be able to avoid the conversation for long, not with Tsubine. Trying to would probably only irritate him. She stood up and began pacing around a bit, holding her belly up with one arm as she thought about what to tell him first. After a while, Kaminari stopped walking and just stared at the floor, clenching her fists in anger.

"I never thought I'd be a Mom. I never really wanted to be... And now that it's happening, I don't know what to do. I feel like it's going to ruin my life." Kaminari explained and half-way through began crying, "I feel so... ashamed of myself, but also angry. I don't want to have a child I'm just going to resent later. When I say that... I mean that I know I'm probably going to have to give up being Captain Commander, and that's all I ever wanted. And whether you admit it or not," Kaminari shot him a glare that would normally have caused someone's heart to jump, but she was fat so the intimidation factor was much lower, "I know you only proposed to me because of the baby. We had sex once. One time. We hadn't even moved in together. We had one date. What if you hate me in one or two years?"

Kaminari asked herself why she just didn't tell him her problems as he went on. He always knew what to say to make her feel better and it never felt forced to fake. He was true to her, honest and blunt in all ways she needed him to be. She stayed the same up until his apology. When he hugged her, she hugged him right back, careful not to press her big belly into him to hard. "That sounds good, great actually." Kaminari smiled and then looked lovingly up to him. She reached up and placed her hand on Tsubine's cheek, lightly caressing it with her thumb. "Don't ever apologize, please. Not for anything." she brought her hands to his chest and laid her head there, "And I'm not asking for me, but for our little one. I have all these doubts and worries. My mind is going in all of these scary directions and I'm stressed out. I do not want you to ever feel the same way. Right now, you have to be the stronger of us. You're able to calm me down. If you ever feel what I've been feeling, then I feel like that's when things go bad. I can handle it if I'm going a little crazy; I can't if you are at the same time."

Kaminari took his hand and brought him back over to the couch. She sat down, tugging on his hand so he would too. "Midori said stress can mess with the baby. It's why I thought I needed to avoid people and settle down, when in reality all I needed was you." Kaminari smiled sweetly at him, "I have to admit, I don't know what I'm doing. Not just with being a Mom, but being a girlfriend and soon to be a wife. My first relationship... I didn't expect it to jump so quickly and that's scaring me as well. I have so many questions and I'm becoming a Mom before I can get them answered. I've known you for years, Tsubine, but when I think about it... I don't know you. Does that make sense? I mean... I don't know your in-home habits. Do you squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom or the middle? Do you toss your clothes to the side or in a hamper? Do you walk around the house half-naked when you're relaxing? Am I going to have to yell at you for leaving the toilet seat up? These are things I feel like I should know before being a wife and especially a Mom. And there are things you should know too, but we haven't gotten to that point yet. Now that a child will be here, will we? Is that possible now?"

There was only one thing that Kaminari was going to remember that he just told her. When he pulled out those glasses, she watched with a child-like curiosity as he put them on. When they sat on his face, Kaminari stared at him. She kicked her legs a bit and just stared and stared. After a he was done asking to move into her place, she got onto her knees and pulled on both of his cheeks. "ADORABLE!" she suddenly shouted gleefully, "YOU LOOK SO FUCKING CUTE! OH MY GOD! WHY DO YOU NOT WEAR THESE MORE OFTEN!" She snatched them off his face and put them on her. She immediately got dizzy and put them back on him though. She giggled like a maniac and nuzzled her cheek against his. "So cute, so cute! I like 'em. I had no idea you wore glasses. Wear them more often! Around me only."

"If you want to move in, you can anytime you want, Love." Kaminari scooted away from him and then laid her head in his lap. She stared up at his glasses-wearing-face and just couldn't help but smile like a teenage girl. "So cute..." she mumbled excitedly. She relaxed a bit and sighed. "Anyways, I was surprised it took you this long to ask. I would have asked months ago, but I read that the man was supposed to. Why did you take so long? Being alone while pregnant is a pain! I can barely walk!"

"You tell that to the Second Division's Third Seat... I think people who wear them all the time naturally know how to compensate. Similar to the way a woman with long hair knows how to move to make sure it's not cut." Kaminari shrugged as she laid her head in his lap, "Now I know what I'm getting you for your birthday. Books, lots of 'em." Kaminari smiled playfully. She wouldn't just buy him books so she could see him in glasses. If anything, she'll sneak into his office and secretly assign him more useless paperwork for a day. He'd probably get mad though. "Huh? What are you talking about, Tsubine?"

"The only thing I've been a good judge on is..." Kaminari froze and thought about it. She even put her hand over her eyes to think harder on it. "Yep, you. That's about it. Everything else, I keep messing up..." Kaminari's face suddenly soured and a few tears showed up. She looked away from Tsubine and pouted, "Stupid hormones... Now that I know why my moods are so strange, it's more frustrating."

Kaminari smiled when he began petting her head. "Good. Move in quickly. Otherwise I think I really will be fat by the time this is all over..." Kaminari gently pat the top of her belly and then saw his confused look. "What's wrong?" she asked and then he asked. "Is the woman supposed to choose that too?" Kaminari asked. It sounded like her being a smart ass, but she was curious, "I... really don't know."

"Yes, I do." Kaminari answered with a sense of absolution. That is how she saw him. Rarely did he make mistakes, so why would he have done so then? Tsubine went on a bit of a rant there. Well, it wasn't really a rant, but more of a speech. He made her feel better. Some of her insecurities were dealt with, at least for now. He admitted to making mistakes, which surprised her. He even told her where things were going well with her leading the Gotei. Kaminari always wanted to be closer to the members of the Gotei and had made a point to being close to the Captains. The only one she kind of failed doing that with was Captain Yamanaka of the Twelfth Division, but how would that be shocking? That woman was stranger than snow in the Sahara during the hottest time of the year. Kaminari just smiled up at him. Her eyes softened, the worry slowly fading away. "Alright. I understand a bit more."

Tsubine's question about the wedding definitely threw her off. She had never planned one or witnessed one before, so how was she supposed to know? He explained things he had read, which caused Kaminari to look at him strangely. It was a mixture of confusion, surprise, and her being impressed. "I didn't expect you to say you've read such things... I knew you read, but I expected you to read history books over how-to romance books..." Kaminari covered her mouth and giggled at him, "Hun, you really are full of surprises." Kaminari hadn't actually been calling Tsubine "hun" or any other term of endearment until recently. Usually, it was just Tsubine or some sort of playful insult. "Though..." Kaminari's expression fell sad again, "Having a baby without being married... That just feels wrong. I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with that idea. I don't know why... It's just... I don't know."

Had this been a cartoon, Tsubine would have seen stars in Kaminari's eyes. The hope that she would find out something new about Tsubine shined in them right now. There was also a hint of mischief and deviousness. She wanted something to pick on him for and that might be a perfect chance. Lilith loved talking about things like that. Kaminari curled and kicked her legs a bit, giggling excitedly.

And then he had to say that. Kaminari blinked rapidly, looking at him completely shocked. He was serious, wasn't he?! He was! Kaminari sat up and hopped in his lap, wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzling her face all over his. In doing so, she was careful not to shake the baby too much. "You are so cute!! I didn't know you had such an endearing side of you, Tsubine! I absolutely love it!"

As for the wedding, it seemed they both agreed. It felt wrong to be married after the child was born. It also didn't help that they both came from a time where that would be horribly looked down upon. That mindset still stuck with Kaminari and apparently Tsubine as well. She nodded. "I think that will be best." Kaminari's smile softened and her cheeks turned red, "I'm getting married. I'm gonna be a wife."